LME 058 – How to Stay Calm Under Pressure – Even as a Leader
Today, we’re diving into a topic every leader thinks they handle well: Until real pressure hits: Staying calm when everything seems to go wrong.
Whether you’re dealing with a deadline, a disgruntled client or internal chaos, your ability to stay calm is what sets you apart as a leader.
Let’s explore why it’s hard to stay calm, what happens when you don’t and how to actually get better at it.
Why It’s So Hard to Stay Calm Under Pressure
Imagine this:
You’ve just arrived at work. Coffee in hand. You open your inbox and there it is: A furious email from a key customer.
They’re threatening to cancel the contract. Apparently, one of your team members missed a crucial step in a delivery and the customer’s angry.
In that moment, what do you do?
Do you fire off a panicked email? Do you storm into the team room and demand answers? Or do you freeze?
Most leaders go into reaction mode. And that’s natural but it’s also dangerous.
When our brain feels pressure, it activates our amygdala. That is the part responsible for our fight-or-flight response. Great for survival in the jungle. Terrible for leading a team.
Why Calmness is a Leadership Superpower
Let me give you an example from one of my clients: Sarah, she is a marketing agency owner.
Her team had just launched a campaign for a new client. It was a six-figure deal. A big one for her business. But there was a bug in the newsletter software and 10,000 customers got the wrong email. Worse, the client found out on Twitter.
The office was in chaos. People shouting across desks. Blame flying everywhere.
Sarah could have easily joined the panic. But instead, she stood up, raised her voice slightly and said:
“Take a breath. One thing at a time. We’re going to fix this.”
She calmly delegated tasks: one person to respond to the client, one to investigate the software glitch, one to monitor social media. Within 30 minutes, the situation was under control.
The client wasn’t thrilled but they stayed. Why? Because they saw that Sarah didn’t lose her head.
That’s leadership.
What Happens When You Don’t Stay Calm?
Let’s look at the flip side.
I worked with a managing director. His name is Mike. He was technically brilliant but had a short fuse. Anytime something went wrong, he’d get visibly agitated. He’d micromanage, point fingers, sometimes even slam doors.
His team got used to hiding problems. And when people hide problems, small issues turn into big ones. Eventually, a good employee quit without warning.
In the exit interview, they said:
“I couldn’t handle the pressure. Not from the job – from him.”
That’s the risk. When you, as a leader, don’t manage pressure well your team feels unsafe.
The Calm Leader’s Mindset
Let me offer a different picture.
Think of someone like a pilot.
Imagine boarding a plane, and the moment turbulence hits, the captain starts yelling into the intercom:
“Oh no! We’re in real trouble now!”
Not very comforting, right?
Now think of what pilots are trained to do: stay composed, follow procedures, focus on facts.
As a leader, you’re the captain of the business. Your calmness builds trust.
Practical Tips – How to Train Your Calm
So how do you actually learn to stay calm?
Here are five practical techniques, and I’ll give you examples for each:
1. Breathe – and slow things down
Before you react, take 3 deep breaths.
One of my clients keeps a sticky note on her laptop:
“Pause. Breathe. Lead.”
It’s simple – but it works. Especially before big meetings or tough conversations.
2. Buy yourself time
If someone throws a problem at you, don’t respond immediately.
Say something like:
“That’s important. Let me think about it for a moment.”
Or:
“I need 10 minutes to check a few things before we decide.”
This isn’t avoidance. It’s smart leadership.
3. Prepare for pressure before it happens
Elite athletes don’t just train for performance. They train for pressure. You can, too.
Think of scenarios that might go wrong. Practice how you’d respond. Even just mentally.
For example: What if your biggest customer demands a discount? What if your top employee quits?
By rehearsing, you reduce emotional shock when it actually happens.
4. Get support – Don’t isolate
A business owner I coach has a rule: Whenever he feels overwhelmed, he talks to his co-founderr, even if it’s just to vent.
Staying calm doesn’t mean being a stoic robot. It means knowing how to channel your emotions productively.
5. Reframe setbacks
Start viewing problems not as threats but as puzzles.
One of my clients says whenever something goes wrong, he repeats this to himself:
“This is interesting. What can I learn here?”
It sounds cheesy, but this mindset shift changes how you feel about challenges.
Calm is Contagious
Here’s the thing:
If you’re calm, your team stays calm. If you panic, they panic.
You are the emotional thermostat.
A calm leader is not someone who never feels stress. It’s someone who doesn’t let stress drive their behavior.
Calm Leaders Create Strong Cultures
Calmness doesn’t just help in moments of crisis. It defines your company culture over time.
If your team knows that they won’t be blamed or punished for every mistake, they’ll be more honest. They’ll bring up problems earlier. And that saves time, money, and people.
