LME 043 – The Toughest Leadership Challenge – And How to Overcome It
Picture this: You’re sitting at your desk, staring at your phone, dreading the conversation you need to have.
On one end, your team expects you to fight for them—to push for better conditions, fair compensation, and flexibility.
On the other, senior leadership demands cost-cutting, higher productivity, and tough decisions that might not always be in your team’s best interest.
You take a deep breath. You know there’s no easy way out of this. No matter what you decide, someone will be unhappy.
Role Conflicts
If this situation feels familiar, you’re not alone.
Every leader faces role conflicts at some point—moments when competing expectations pull you in opposite directions.
Whether it’s between your professional and personal life or balancing the needs of your employees with company priorities, learning how to navigate these tensions is a hallmark of great leadership.
Let’s break this down with some real-world examples and, more importantly, practical ways to handle these challenges.
What is a Role Conflict?
At its core, a role conflict arises when different roles you hold demand contradictory actions.
The classic struggle of “work-life balance” is one example, but role conflicts go beyond that.
Imagine you’re a manager. Your team trusts you and looks up to you. At the same time, the company expects you to make tough calls—maybe even letting some employees go.
You want to be a supportive leader, but you also need to be the enforcer of difficult decisions.
The Family vs. Work Dilemma: Kurt’s Story
Let’s look at Kurt, a dedicated employee and a loving father.
For months, his kids have been excited about a weekend camping trip. The tents are packed, the marshmallows are ready, and the family can’t wait for some quality time together.
But then, on Friday afternoon, his boss calls him into a meeting.
“There’s a major client issue,”
his boss says.
“If we don’t fix it by Monday, we could lose the account. I need you to work this weekend.”
Kurt is torn. If he cancels the trip, his family will be deeply disappointed. If he refuses the extra work, his job security could be at risk.
What should he do?
The answer isn’t simple, and that’s the nature of role conflicts. But let’s explore three key strategies to handle them.
Three Steps to Resolve Role Conflicts
Clarify Expectations
Before making a decision, take a step back and examine the expectations. Sometimes, what we think is rigid is actually negotiable.
Back to Kurt: He checks the weather forecast and sees heavy rain is predicted. He sits down with his family and suggests rescheduling for next weekend when the weather will be better.
His family agrees, and he’s able to work without breaking his promise.
In many cases, conflicts seem impossible because we assume expectations are fixed. But by having open conversations, you can often find flexibility where you least expect it.
Find a Compromise
When both expectations are valid and urgent, compromises can help.
For example, Kurt could propose working on Saturday but reserving Sunday for his family.
Or maybe he works early mornings and evenings but spends the afternoon camping.
A compromise won’t fully satisfy everyone, but it minimizes dissatisfaction and keeps relationships intact.
Make the Hard Call
Sometimes, compromises aren’t possible, and you have to make a decision based on your values and priorities.
Let’s say Kurt’s company is facing a crisis, and the client’s project is critical to survival. If he skips the work, the company might lose a major deal, and layoffs could follow. In this case, he might decide that staying at work is the right call.
But what if his marriage is already strained, and missing this trip could be the final straw? Then, prioritizing his family might be the wiser choice, even if it means facing professional consequences.
Great leaders make decisions not just based on logic but on what aligns with their deepest values.
Leadership is About Balancing Conflicting Priorities
Role conflicts don’t just happen in personal life; they’re a daily reality for leaders.
Imagine being told:
“Cut costs but increase revenue.”
“Be empathetic with your team but deliver hard performance feedback.”
“Delegate responsibilities but remain fully accountable for the results.”
These contradictions aren’t signs of bad leadership—they are leadership. Your ability to navigate them defines your success.
Case Study: The Employee Retention Dilemma
Now, let’s consider Daniela, a mid-level manager in a growing company.
Her best employee, Sarah, just handed in her resignation.
The reason? Sarah’s partner got a job in another city, and she wants to move to be with them. Daniela understands. After all, she values work-life balance and wants the best for her team members.
But here’s the twist: Senior leadership isn’t willing to let Sarah go without a fight. They come up with a counteroffer—including a temporary position for Sarah’s partner to encourage them to stay.
Now, Daniela is caught in a role conflict.
As a company representative, she’s expected to push Sarah to stay.
As a supportive leader, she wants to respect Sarah’s personal decision.
What should she do?
The answer depends on what she values most. If keeping Sarah is crucial to the company’s success, she might align with senior leadership and advocate for the counteroffer.
But if trust and long-term relationships matter more, she might support Sarah’s decision to leave, even at the company’s expense.
This is the reality of leadership—every decision comes with trade-offs.
Why Role Conflicts Are Harder for Leaders
As leaders rise through the ranks, role conflicts become more frequent and complex.
For example, a CEO might have to lay off employees to save the company from bankruptcy. They understand the devastating impact on those affected, yet they also know that keeping the business afloat will secure jobs for many others.
These aren’t easy decisions. And they often come with personal sacrifice—whether it’s taking the heat from employees, losing sleep over difficult calls, or dealing with the loneliness that comes with making unpopular but necessary choices.
How to Handle Role Conflicts Effectively
Communicate Transparently
People appreciate honesty. If you’re caught between competing expectations, share your thought process openly. It builds trust, even if not everyone agrees with your final decision.
Stay True to Your Values
At the end of the day, the best decisions are those that align with your core values. If loyalty and fairness are important to you, stand by them—even when it’s tough.
Accept Imperfection
Not every role conflict has a perfect solution. Some choices will leave people disappointed. But that’s leadership—making the best decision possible given the circumstances.
Closing Thoughts
Role conflicts test your ability to lead with clarity, balance competing priorities, and make decisions that align with your values. But they also offer an opportunity to grow.
Next time you’re caught in the middle of a tough decision, remember: Leadership isn’t about avoiding role conflicts—it’s about learning how to navigate them with wisdom, empathy, and courage.
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